Open Your Heart

Have you ever had the experience of getting to know someone better after they had died? That’s happened to me a couple of times.

The first time was when someone I hardly knew suddenly passed away. He was a friend of a friend and I had only met him one time, but we seemed to have an immediate connection. The day after he died, I was daydreaming… doing some kind of chore in the kitchen when I sensed the presence of this new acquaintance. He was like hanging out with me, cross-legged on my kitchen counter, He had a warm and gentle presence, but powerful. He wanted me to tell our mutual friend that it wasn’t our friend’s fault. I asked him, “Why me? Why don’t you tell him yourself?” and he answered that our friend would not believe it was really him. He wanted me to tell our friend that it was okay… it wasn’t his fault. Of course I did the best I could to communicate that to my living friend.

My new deceased friend stayed connected to me for a while. He taught me a lot about continuing a connection and a friendship from the “other” side… and to even grow in love and understanding. He faded away from my conscious awareness after our mutual friend finally got his message about forgiving himself (or was it me?).

Losing a loved one… whether through death, divorce, estrangement…. is inevitable. We are going to be physically separated sooner or later. We are going to endure heartbreaking disconnects and estrangements. But we never lose our heart connections. And reconciliation and reunion are inevitable in the long run.

The best song I’ve ever heard about cherishing the love connection even beyond death is the theme from the movie “My Heart Will Go On” by James Horner. I had to rehearse that song about 50 times before I could sing it in public without crying… that’s how it touches my heart because it recognizes the truth – “My heart will go on and on…”

Yes, we can stay connected to loved ones by keeping our hearts open in expectation of the miracle. We can open our hearts wherever we are….

by Genie Webster

 






I had a mama… and when we laid her down to rest,
I went wandering around, looking for her, I guess.
Then I heard a whisper. She said, “Honey, whatcha looking for?
I’ve been here all along… knocking at your door. 
You can…

Open Your Heart… wherever you are.
Love’s the same though we have changed,
And we’re together though apart.
Open Your Heart.

I had a vision… where all my dreams had come true.
We were all for One and One for All with You.
Keep on believing… that the best is yet to come.
And walk hand in hand with a Heart that carries on.
You can…

Open Your Heart… wherever you are.
Love’s the same though we have changed,
And we’re together though apart.
Open Your Heart.

Now I’ll be leaving… I’m leaving friends and family,
The home I love, my whole life history.
But I’m not grieving… ‘cause I’ll never be far away
I’m connected to the hearts of the ones who’ve heard me say…
You can…

Open Your Heart… wherever you are.
Love’s the same though we have changed,
And we’re together though apart.
Open Your Heart… wherever you are.
Love’s the same though we have changed,
And we’re together though apart.
Open Your Heart!

See the music video here.

(c) copyright 2013 Genie Webster

Confucius Say…

“If you look into your heart and you find nothing wrong there, what is there to worry about? What is there to fear?” -Confucius

Advanced Forgiveness Lesson

Be assured that if you knew all, you would pardon all.

~Thomas A. Kempis

Thomas A. Kempis

Holding on to a grievance is always a mistake… because there’s always part of the story that you do not know. Only God knows the whole story.

‎”No one can judge on partial evidence. That is not judgment. It is merely an opinion based on ignorance and doubt. Its seeming certainty is but a cloak for the uncertainty it would conceal. It needs irrational defense because it is irrational. And its defense seems strong, convincing, and without a doubt because of all the doubting underneath.”

~ Lesson 152, A Course in Miracles

A Purple Funeral, of course

Why do we wait until someone’s memorial service to gather in their honor?

They say when a loved one dies, either you are glad you spent quality time with them recently… or you regret that you didn’t spend more time together.

Why not make that phone call to someone with whom you’ve had a disconnect.  Give ten minutes of your time to invest in extending love… Reach out and show someone you’re ready to see them as innocent and give them a clean slate. Someone you have been avoiding because they remind you of… something in yourself that has not yet healed.

You can choose to heal. You can grow. You can let go.

Model forgiveness and acceptance, like Jesus and our Mother Mary.

Let it go.

She Let Go

She Let Go

She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.

She let go of the fear. She let go of the judgments. She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head. She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.

She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go. She didn’t search the scriptures. She just let go. She let go of all of the memories that held her back. She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward. She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it. She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go.

She didn’t analyze whether she should let go. She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. She didn’t call the prayer line. She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.

No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.

There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that.

In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.

~ Ernest Holmes, founder of Religious Science

I get it. That’s what this story is all about, and also the song at the end of this story: Room For You

 

Forgive Your Mother’s Dysfunctional Mother

I never claimed to be a perfect mother.

But I was a better mother to my daughter than my mother was to me. My mother was a better mother to me than her mother was to her. And my daughter will be a better mother to her daughter than I was to her. It seems that as we evolve, each generation is better at parenting than the last.

Hopefully, we are contributing to the betterment of civilization as a whole by our generational evolution within our families.

Let us forgive the ones that made mistakes before our all-knowingness came to rule our worlds.

 

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Forgive Your Mother

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about my mother. Maybe it’s because I’m quickly approaching the age my mother was when she left this earth. Mortality tends to cause a daughter to be reflective… and long for her mother.

My mother was a better grandmother than she was a mother. I’m glad she had the chance to redeem herself that way. She knew how much I loved her. We spent a lot of one-on-one time together towards the end of her life, so we reached a peaceful understanding despite so many years of silly misunderstandings.

In the final analysis… all was forgiven (on both of our parts) and we were able to relate to one another as fragile, vulnerable, but kind human beings who loved one another despite our errors and misguided attempts to control one another and persuade each other to our way of thinking. In the final analysis… it didn’t matter. What mattered was being present for one another towards the end, and showing each other little kindnesses to help make the way a little softer and easier.

I may not have been the best mother in my child’s eyes (or in my own eyes for that matter), but there is great comfort in knowing that I was a good daughter.

Forgive Your Mother by Iyanla Vanzant

Forgive your mother!  Forgive her not for the things she has done or not done or for the things she said or has not said. Forgive her because it is the only way to open your heart to self-forgiveness. Forgive her not because you don’t have a right to be upset about the way she has handled some things in her life and in your life. Forgive her not because she was right in making you feel wrong, or because she was wrong when she failed to acknowledge that you were right.  Forgive your mother because until you do, there will always be a void in your heart.

Forgive your mother for the many, many times she was not the mother you wanted her to be. Forgive her for the times she did not do things the way you needed them done. Forgive your mother for not protecting you or speaking out in your behalf. Forgive her for not guiding you in the right direction and for the times she totally lost her direction, dragging you along with her. Forgive your mother for demanding things from you that she could not provide for you or for herself. Forgive your mother whether or not she did anything wrong or bad to you. Forgive her not because you are excusing whatever she did or however it affected you. Forgive your mother because holding judgments against her has a devastating impact on your soul.  The judgments you hold will eventually break your heart. Forgive your mother because the truth is, she did the best she could whether you would like to believe it or not. You may have been harboring judgments or negative opinions about your mother and the way she did or did not mother you.

Just for today, forgive yourself for judging your mother.  Once you do, there will be nothing left to forgive her for.

Recommended:

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2011/15-insights-on-improving-mother-daughter-relationships/

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On Forgiveness & Making Up

When I first arrived in Reno I made friends with an interesting and funny guy, and friendship turned into romance. However, I didn’t want to hang with him all the time… just once in a while… and he got very pissed at me and decided to cut off all communication altogether. I was dumped and hated… and very bewildered. Because I lost a fun and interesting pal.

Soon after our break-up my friend decided to take a teaching job overseas and we ran out of time to heal our disconnect. I wrote this song to reach out to him one last time… but of course he was already gone.

But this song is not just about that guy. It’s how I feel towards all the loved ones with whom I’ve had a disconnect in the past that hasn’t quite completely healed.

Before You Go

(c) Copyright Genie Webster 2011