Why Trump’s accusers didn’t come forward sooner

I’m an average middle-aged woman… average looks, average build, above-average intelligence, talent, and competence. I don’t know what the national average is for women who have been degraded and inappropriately toyed with in the workplace, but I can speak from my own experience. It’s happened to me at least three times that I can clearly remember.

Yes, I’ve been fired from a job I loved because I spoke out about inappropriate behavior towards me by the president of a company for which I worked. What he did would not be considered harassment and it was not illegal, but it made me uncomfortable. It made me not want to be in a room alone with him. In retrospect, I regret explaining to my immediate supervisor why I stopped having one-on-one meetings with the boss. The company offered me two months salary when they let me go, but only if I would sign an agreement not to say anything negative about the company. Of course I signed the agreement. I was losing my job and I needed the money.

That’s why we don’t speak up. We know that if it’s our word against his, we will never win. Men in power know that working women can’t usually afford to lose their jobs, so we rarely speak up. We just shake our heads and walk away disgusted, while we look for another job or a way to get out of the situation. Not everyone has the luxury of just walking away from a paycheck.

I’m proud of Trump’s victims coming forward. I understand why they waited. There is strength in numbers. Women’s stories are being validated and perhaps our collective self esteem will be healed from talking about what we’ve had to endure.

Donald Trump, your attitude towards women and the way you’ve treated them is not okay. You are a lousy role model for our sons and brothers. Instead of taking responsibility for your actions and apologizing, you accuse your victims of lying. Just  sit down and shut the fuck up. Or change.

 

Prayer at the (Truckee) River (lyrics)

PRAYER AT THE RIVER

by Genie Webster

I go down to the river just to find peace of mind.
I hear her in the distance, like wind.
I know that I can trust her, and I know she’ll steal me blind,

And I know I’ll be comin’ back again,
Yes I know I’ll be comin’ back again.

Carry my troubles far away… to the Pyramid*, and
Bring me a clean mountain breeze.
And show me how to move like you with graceful motion
Now that I’m down on my knees,
Now that I’m down on my knees.

*Pyramid Lake

I was standing on that bridge in downtown Reno, by the park,
Where people throw their wedding rings away…
I toss a few regrets in and some memories from the dark
And I watch the river carry them away.
Yes I watch the river carry them away.

Carry my troubles far away… to the Pyramid*, and
Bring me a clean mountain breeze.
And show me how to move like you with graceful motion
Now that I’m down on my knees,
Now that I’m down on my knees.
Sometimes she’s raging fast and sometimes she’s slowin’,
Sometimes she’s high and then she’s low.
But one thing for certain is, she knows just where she’s goin’…
And she’ll tell you anything you want to know,
Yeah, she’ll tell you anything you want to know.

Carry my troubles far away… to the Pyramid*, and
Bring me a clean mountain breeze.
And show me how to move like you with graceful motion
Now that I’m down on my knees,
Now that I’m down on my knees.

Hear the song and/or download: Prayer at the River.

 

(c) Copyright 1999 Genie Webster. All rights reserved.

 

Room For You lyrics

ROOM FOR YOU

by Genie Webster

I’m traveling much lighter these days.
I used to carry my stuff all over the place.
But I made a clean sweep and I didn’t even keep much at all.

Because I want to be able to go
At the drop of a hat… and I already know…
I don’t need a whole lot so whatever I’ve got packs up small.

And when I leave, I won’t make a sound
‘Cause the bags that I carry don’t weigh me down.
And that stone in my shoe, well I’ve let that go too…

Now I have room for you.
I have room for you.
I’m living much simpler these days.
I don’t need cosmetics to put on my face
And I’m down to one pair of boots and you know that suits me just fine.

See I’ve stripped my life down to bare bone.
What you see’s what you get, and you see I’m alone.
But I’ve got a clean slate and that means I create what I like.

And now I’m walking down this brand new road…
And traveling is easy ’cause I’ve lightened my load.
And I’ve got a free hand and time to share too…

Now I have room for you.
I have room for you.

 

Read the story: On Decluttering

Listen to and/or download: Room For You

Related: Strategy of the Dolphin

(c) Copyright 1999 Genie Webster

Surrendering Judgment

Surrendering Judgment

by Paul Ferrini

One of the most important spiritual practices
is to let things be as they are without interpretation,
without embellishment, without judgment.
That immediately gives the ego a coronary.

Imagine telling the ego it cannot judge, compare, interpret?
What then is it going to do?
It doesn’t really know how to do anything else.

As soon as we try to tell the ego not to judge
a whole new layer of judgment comes up.
But that’s why the process is so rich.

From Everyday Wisdom by Paul Ferrini
www.paulferrini.com

Surrendering Judgment

by Paul Ferrini

One of the most important spiritual practices
is to let things be as they are without interpretation,
without embellishment, without judgment.
That immediately gives the ego a coronary.

Imagine telling the ego it cannot judge, compare, interpret?
What then is it going to do?
It doesn’t really know how to do anything else.

As soon as we try to tell the ego not to judge
a whole new layer of judgment comes up.
But that’s why the process is so rich.

From Everyday Wisdom by Paul Ferrini
www.paulferrini.com

Strawberry Swirled Cheesecake Recipe

This cheesecake is creamy and not too sweet. The recipe was inspired by a quart of overly ripe strawberries which needed to be used up. You can make your own strawberry sauce, like I did, or substitute any flavor of jam.

Strawberry Sauce

• 1 quart very ripe strawberries, cleaned and hulled
• zest from 1/2 lemon
• 1/2 cup raisins
• sweetener to taste (I used about 1/4 cup agave syrup)
• 1 T cornstarch for thickening
• 1/2 cup water

Bring all ingredients (except cornstarch) to a boil in a saucepan. Reduce heat to a simmer and cook while stirring often with a fakanál. When berries become soft, mash berries with a potato masher, and add corn starch to thicken. Put aside to cool while cheesecake is prepared (the sauce can be made ahead of time).

Strawberry Swirled Cheesecake

• (3) 8 oz. packages of cream cheese (softened)
• (1) 8 oz container sour cream
• (1) cup sugar
• (3) eggs
• (1) Tablespoon vanilla extract
• (1) graham cracker crust (large)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cream together softened cream cheese and sugar. Beat eggs with a fork and add to mixture, along with vanilla, then add in sour cream. Pour cheesecake mixture into prepared pie crust. Plop large dollops of strawberry sauce on top of cheese cake. Take a butter knife and swirl the strawberry sauce through cheesecake. Bake for 60-75 minutes… until middle is golden brown. Cool and refrigerate at least six hours before serving.

How a cheater cheats

You know he’s cheating. You want to catch him. A talented womanizer (or manizer) has figured out how to cover their (deceptive) tracks.

First of all, you can bet he has two cell phones. At least one is kept hidden from you at all times. He keeps it in the glove compartment of his vehicle. Or in a box in the spare bedroom. He charges the phones when you are not home, then he takes the batteries out when he is hiding them… just in case you find one.

You know he is still in contact with that other woman, even though he has shown you how he has blocked her from his cell phone. Ha! There are so many ways for the other woman (women?) to reach him via random anonymous phone numbers. Check out the smartphone app “Burner,” for example. You think he’s getting an incoming call from a local number, and it’s really her, calling from another state, disguised behind a phony phone number. They’ve got sneaky ways!

A similar app is called “Hushed.” This one works like Burner, but texts and voice mail messages can be left. It is easy to get a number for, say, Garland, Texas, or from Reno or from any city in the United States. This number works in both directions and can be easily destroyed and replaced with another at any time. The numbers are temporary. This app surely contributes to plenty of shenanigans, all well-known to wo/manizers.

For even more tricks available to cheaters, check out SpoofCard (disguises caller ID) and Slydial (which allows the caller to bypass a phone call and leave a direct voice mail message). Smart cheaters know how to combine these apps so that messages and texts can be left even though the number has been blocked!

Cheaters use secret codes, too, while they sneak around. For example, if you walk in and catch him talking to his secret lover, he will give her the predetermined  code phrase that means “I’ve got to go, she’s here.” He might say something like, “I’ll send you a link to my video” and that will be a secret code.

He might tell you “She means nothing to me,” “She’s crazy,” “She’s stalking me,” etc. In the meantime, he’s telling the other woman that he loves her and he wants to be with her. Yes, really.

What kind of a woman tolerates this?

You can’t judge a book by its cover

Every time I hear the expression “You can’t judge a book by its cover,” I’m reminded of the smart aleck guy in high school who said, “Well then take your cover off!”

You really can’t judge a book by its cover. I learned that when I was selling motorized scooters to handicapped people in their homes. They would see the “Free Scooter” commercial on TV and they would call the 800 number to see if they qualified. Sometimes they got talked into agreeing to see an in-home salesperson who would try to sell them a scooter (hardly anyone qualifies for a free scooter).

I would get my assignments by email every morning and I would load up my van and go. One morning I got an assignment to visit a woman way up in the hills of Northern California… north of Grass Valley in a very rural area (off Jackass Flats Road — I’m not kidding). I could not find my customer’s address. This area was so remote that I did not get any cell phone coverage… so I had to drive until I could pick up a signal.

When I finally got ahold of my customer, she said that she would meet me at a certain juncture in her pick-up truck, and that I should follow her up the mountain, which I did.

As we were driving up the winding mountain road, I was wondering what on earth I was doing driving a van full of power scooters up the mountain to who-knows-where. After what seemed like 20 minutes or so, my customer finally pulled off the road and parked at what looked like a hippie camp. There were piles of lumber and tents and what looked like a construction trailer.

“We’re living in the trailer while we build our home,” explained the customer, who walked with a cane towards the trailer. “We can meet in here.” She had to make room for me to sit down. Her partner (another woman) joined us and I said to myself “Oh dear lord these poor people will never be able to afford this $3000 scooter.”

The woman had been injured in an accident and wanted the scooter to help her get around the property so that she can build their home. I did my job… I showed her the sales pitch… I gave her a demo ride… and I asked for the order, even though I did not have high expectations of a sale.

The woman excused herself, while she and her partner went to the back of the trailer for a private conference. I started packing up my stuff to head back down the mountain. When the woman returned, she had an envelope with $3000 cash.

The next day, I received an assignment to visit a woman who lived south of Reno, in Palamino Valley. My GPS sent me up into the mountains, climbing and climbing up Whiskey Springs Road. I could see a huge house up the mountain. “Eureka!” I thought to myself. “People with money,” I assumed.

The closer I got to the house, the more I saw how huge and well-built it was. The property was more like an estate, with multiple buildings and horses and barns.

When I met my prospect, she was a 60ish woman, who walked with a cane. An elderly woman was sitting in a recliner in the living room. “That’s my mother, who lives here with me. I care for her.”

The further I got into the house, the more I saw how things were a wreck… crayon marks on the walls… debris and junk everywhere. I could hear kids running and playing in the background. “Those are my grandchildren,” the woman explained. “My 40-year old daughter and her children live here with me too.”

Her husband was in a nursing home, recovering from a stroke and she was trying to take care of a household of six people while crippled. She wanted to buy a scooter desperately.

When she was turned down for financing, she cried.

You can’t judge a book by its cover!

Whether it’s in sales or any area in life… Do not impose limitations by jumping to the wrong conclusions too soon.

 

 

 

Open Your Heart

Have you ever had the experience of getting to know someone better after they had died? That’s happened to me a couple of times.

The first time was when someone I hardly knew suddenly passed away. He was a friend of a friend and I had only met him one time, but we seemed to have an immediate connection. The day after he died, I was daydreaming… doing some kind of chore in the kitchen when I sensed the presence of this new acquaintance. He was like hanging out with me, cross-legged on my kitchen counter, He had a warm and gentle presence, but powerful. He wanted me to tell our mutual friend that it wasn’t our friend’s fault. I asked him, “Why me? Why don’t you tell him yourself?” and he answered that our friend would not believe it was really him. He wanted me to tell our friend that it was okay… it wasn’t his fault. Of course I did the best I could to communicate that to my living friend.

My new deceased friend stayed connected to me for a while. He taught me a lot about continuing a connection and a friendship from the “other” side… and to even grow in love and understanding. He faded away from my conscious awareness after our mutual friend finally got his message about forgiving himself (or was it me?).

Losing a loved one… whether through death, divorce, estrangement…. is inevitable. We are going to be physically separated sooner or later. We are going to endure heartbreaking disconnects and estrangements. But we never lose our heart connections. And reconciliation and reunion are inevitable in the long run.

The best song I’ve ever heard about cherishing the love connection even beyond death is the theme from the movie “My Heart Will Go On” by James Horner. I had to rehearse that song about 50 times before I could sing it in public without crying… that’s how it touches my heart because it recognizes the truth – “My heart will go on and on…”

Yes, we can stay connected to loved ones by keeping our hearts open in expectation of the miracle. We can open our hearts wherever we are….

by Genie Webster

 






I had a mama… and when we laid her down to rest,
I went wandering around, looking for her, I guess.
Then I heard a whisper. She said, “Honey, whatcha looking for?
I’ve been here all along… knocking at your door. 
You can…

Open Your Heart… wherever you are.
Love’s the same though we have changed,
And we’re together though apart.
Open Your Heart.

I had a vision… where all my dreams had come true.
We were all for One and One for All with You.
Keep on believing… that the best is yet to come.
And walk hand in hand with a Heart that carries on.
You can…

Open Your Heart… wherever you are.
Love’s the same though we have changed,
And we’re together though apart.
Open Your Heart.

Now I’ll be leaving… I’m leaving friends and family,
The home I love, my whole life history.
But I’m not grieving… ‘cause I’ll never be far away
I’m connected to the hearts of the ones who’ve heard me say…
You can…

Open Your Heart… wherever you are.
Love’s the same though we have changed,
And we’re together though apart.
Open Your Heart… wherever you are.
Love’s the same though we have changed,
And we’re together though apart.
Open Your Heart!

See the music video here.

(c) copyright 2013 Genie Webster

The Primal Prayer

I’m not too big on prayer. I don’t ask other people to pray for me or my loved ones. I figure God already knows every detail about everyone’s situation.

I meditate, though. I think about my loved ones and hold them in a space of healing love. But I wouldn’t call that praying.

However, in a crisis, I know a prayer that works. It goes like this: “Help me!”

That prayer worked when I was confronted by two snarling dobermans, alone on a mountain trail. (Obviously, I survived!)

(See On Barking Dogs and Sovereignty of Mind for the whole story.)

That prayer worked when I woke up in the middle of the night with awful heartburn… only to realize “Wait a minute… this couldn’t be heartburn… I skipped dinner tonight…. oh shit! It’s a heart attack. HELP ME!!!” And I got immediate and clear instructions to slow my system down by taking some deep breaths. (This was turning out to be a terrific prayer!)

Fast Forward to this year.

I’m a new student of Kabbalah. The homework after the first class was very simple. Say one short prayer first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Ask for help. Say “Help me!”

Aha! I already know this is an effective and easy-to-remember prayer! Now I learn that this is the first lesson of learning Kabbalah! So I did the homework. Now, instead of praying “Help me” only when I was in the middle of a crisis, I was praying this prayer every morning and every night. I was making deposits into my spiritual bank account.

“Simply acknowledging our need for the Creator’s help can be a major step in the right direction. This is the whisper that we are not alone, the first step in building a relationship with the Creator, and the first crack in the shell of ego that imprisons the Light within us.”  – Michael Berg

It so happened that the first week I started this “Help me!” prayer routine, my car broke down upon exiting the freeway… only ten minutes from my home.  While I was waiting for the tow truck with the hood up, at least eight people stopped to offer help. This nice guy Julio even stopped to see if it was anything easy that he could fix. So helpful! The tow truck arrived in a very short time after my call, and dropped my car off at the neighborhood mechanic, only a block away from my home. When my neighbor saw me walking home with no car, she offered the use of her car the next day so I could go to work.  Help was around every corner!

I said the prayer fervently again that same week, when I learned that my position was being eliminated at my company. The rumor was that I was going to be let go. I was furious. Of course I was scared… and my car needed major repairs on top of that! My head was reeling… I was very crabby… I was beating myself up… why did I spend that money? Why didn’t I take better care of this car? blah blah blah…

I knew I needed help to reverse this downward emotional spiral and so I sent out the alarm: “Help me!” Help me remove the blocks to my powerful and unlimited Self! I need help!

That’s when I felt what I can only describe as a power surge. It was a physical sensation that propelled me into a proactive mode. I decided to go into my own business and I announced it to a couple of close friends. At the same time, I sent out resumes to about six different companies, three of which responded the next day. I was on a roll and I was confident and empowered! By the end of the week, the boss had not only decided to keep me, but he was going to send me to training for a new product.

No, I’m not too big on prayer. My only prayers are “Help me,” and “Thank you.”

 

Rene Best musician guitarist