Temenos Journal II

June 8, 2014

How a cheater cheats

Filed under: Temenos Journal — by Genie Webster @ 9:16 pm
Tags: , ,

You know he’s cheating. You want to catch him. A talented womanizer (or manizer) has figured out how to cover their (deceptive) tracks.

First of all, you can bet he has two cell phones. At least one is kept hidden from you at all times. He keeps it in the glove compartment of his vehicle. Or in a box in the spare bedroom. He charges the phones when you are not home, then he takes the batteries out when he is hiding them… just in case you find one.

You know he is still in contact with that other woman, even though he has shown you how he has blocked her from his cell phone. Ha! There are so many ways for the other woman (women?) to reach him via random anonymous phone numbers. Check out the smartphone app “Burner,” for example. You think he’s getting an incoming call from a local number, and it’s really her, calling from another state, disguised behind a phony phone number. They’ve got sneaky ways!

A similar app is called “Hushed.” This one works like Burner, but texts and voice mail messages can be left. It is easy to get a number for, say, Garland, Texas, or from Reno or from any city in the United States. This number works in both directions and can be easily destroyed and replaced with another at any time. The numbers are temporary. This app surely contributes to plenty of shenanigans, all well-known to wo/manizers.

For even more tricks available to cheaters, check out SpoofCard (disguises caller ID) and Slydial (which allows the caller to bypass a phone call and leave a direct voice mail message). Smart cheaters know how to combine these apps so that messages and texts can be left even though the number has been blocked!

Cheaters use secret codes, too, while they sneak around. For example, if you walk in and catch him talking to his secret lover, he will give her the predetermined  code phrase that means “I’ve got to go, she’s here.” He might say something like, “I’ll send you a link to my video” and that will be a secret code.

He might tell you “She means nothing to me,” “She’s crazy,” “She’s stalking me,” etc. In the meantime, he’s telling the other woman that he loves her and he wants to be with her. Yes, really.

What kind of a woman tolerates this?

cheater2

April 14, 2012

How to recognize (and avoid) a womanizer

My girlfriend asked me recently, “Why would I fall for a man who is a womanizer… again?” Gullible, that’s why.
And optimistic. But we’re getting smarter….

A womanizer is a man who likes to have multiple women that he flirts with, easily slipping into duplicity. The difference between a womanizer and a normal gregarious single guy is that the womanizer keeps his flirtations a secret, while the normal guy is open about his other female friends. A womanizer lies easily. A normal guy doesn’t lie as easily and has more integrity.

A womanizer will tell a woman whatever he thinks she wants to hear, whether he is sincere or not. He wants her to like him, at the cost of being real. If the woman is vulnerable to flattery, then she believes him because she wants to believe him. A womanizer is usually a practiced charmer. He can spot a lonely woman a mile away.

Here is how a womanizer’s brain works: (This conversation actually took place.)

A womanizer friend of mine denied he was in love with a woman when he opened his emails to her with “Hi Sweetie” and signed them off with “I love you.” “But I’m not in love with her,” he insisted. “She means nothing to me.” I asked him why on earth he would tell a woman he loved her if he did not love her. Didn’t he think this was misleading? He shrugged it off. He said “I love you” is an ambiguous phrase… it doesn’t mean anything, he said.

When a womanizer is going for the blow job, or the financial hand-out, he will tell her anything he thinks might work.

Another aspect of the womanizer is that he can quickly turn cold, and will drop a flirtation like a hot potato if the woman catches on to his duplicity. He will accuse her of being a nut case and of liking him way more than he likes her. He has no remorse. He didn’t really care that much for her anyway. Besides, he has back-ups… always.

Can a womanizer be cured? Lots of women think they will be the one to cure a womanizer they love. It depends first on whether or not the womanizer himself wants to grow up and get real. So if you find yourself attracted to a womanizer, consider his age. If he’s over 35, he’s not likely to change. Don’t believe him. You can have fun with him, but know that you will never really be able to know if he’s being real, or just telling you what he thinks you want to hear, to get what he wants. It’s okay to roll your eyes at him. He deserves it.

So how do we avoid attracting and being attracted to a womanizer? Get your self esteem from within and above. Don’t look for validation that you are beautiful and desirable outside of yourself.  If you see a man who is attractive & charming but your radar sends up red flags, trust your instincts and just be amused and entertained. Be glad you don’t fall for that anymore. And be grateful that this time you’re not going to waste your precious time and energy chasing what isn’t real.

A New Survey….

… from internet security company BullGuard has determined that one out of every five guys has a separate email account hidden from his significant other. One out of five guys also keeps a secret second cell phone!

If your gut says he’s cheating….

… you’re probably right! Read “Trust Your Inner Banana”

You might also like: Tough Love Baby
How Cheaters Cheat

Here are other good articles on how to recognize a womanizer:

http://psychology.suite101.com/article.cfm/the_inner_workings_of_a_womanizer

http://www.socyberty.com/Men/The-Womanizer-Complex.35306

http://www.thefrisky.com/2010-06-29/10-signs-hes-a-womanizer/
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